I had such a great time bonding with Liam in the hospital, and even though recovery was very challenging the first few days, things were relatively easy in the hospital. For the first 4 or 5 days after coming home, I was crying ALL the time and I was seriously sleep deprived. I didn't bond with Liam the way I did in the hospital. I also questioned myself repeatedly - "What did I get myself into?" "Why did I think I could do this?" I felt as needy towards B as Liam is! I wanted constant affection/reassurance (something that I've never needed/wanted). I found myself in a really dark place more often than not. I even questioned whether I had Post Partum Depression. I was having a hard time distinguishing hormonal imbalance/baby blues with something more severe. Each day seems to get easier, and the more sleep I get, the more I can handle what the day has in store for me.
Recovery wise, nearly 2 weeks out, I'm feeling pretty good. I can easily go up and down the stairs, bend over and pick things up, and I've been off of all pain meds for about a week.
I'm so grateful that B took 3 weeks off from work to be at home. He's been a lifesaver, and the best Daddy I could have ever imagined. I knew he'd be good, but I'm not sure I realized how good. I feel like I have miles to go before I'm at his level, but I am striving for it. It still takes me 5-6 diaper wipes to get through a changing!
That's all for now :)
Liam is 13 days old
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